A Joke a Day Keeps The Boredom Away . . .
- Thread starter Kevin
- Start date
My Grandpa always said... "When one door closes another door opens." He was a great man, but terrible Cabinetmaker!
I took my Dad to the mall the other day to buy some shoes(he is 81). We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I notices he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors:green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look at him and find him staring every time.
When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter, old man? Never done anything wild in your life?" Knowing my dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response, knowing he would have a good one. In classic style he did not bat an eye in his response. "Got drunk once and f---ed a peacock. Was wondering if you were my son"!
When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter, old man? Never done anything wild in your life?" Knowing my dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response, knowing he would have a good one. In classic style he did not bat an eye in his response. "Got drunk once and f---ed a peacock. Was wondering if you were my son"!
woodtickgreg
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Omg, Rodney your killin me, I think I peed myself laughing at that one.
For us barterers on here!!!
This morning I lucked out and was able to buy several cases of ammo. On the way home I stopped at the gas station and this drop dead gorgeous blonde was filling up her car at the next pump. She glanced over and looked at the ammo in the back of my car and said in a very sexy voice, "I'm a big believer in the barter system, big boy. Would you be interested in a trade of sex for ammo?" I thought it over for a few seconds and responded..... "Maybe. How much ammo ya got?"
This morning I lucked out and was able to buy several cases of ammo. On the way home I stopped at the gas station and this drop dead gorgeous blonde was filling up her car at the next pump. She glanced over and looked at the ammo in the back of my car and said in a very sexy voice, "I'm a big believer in the barter system, big boy. Would you be interested in a trade of sex for ammo?" I thought it over for a few seconds and responded..... "Maybe. How much ammo ya got?"
A 6 year old and a 4 year old are raking the yard.
The 6 year old asks, "You know what? I think it's about time we started learning to cuss."The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
The 6 year old continues,"When we go in for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass."
The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios.
WHACK!
He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up,and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit,slapping his rear with every step.
His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!"
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"
"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios!"
The 6 year old asks, "You know what? I think it's about time we started learning to cuss."The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
The 6 year old continues,"When we go in for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass."
The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios.
WHACK!
He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up,and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit,slapping his rear with every step.
His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!"
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"
"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios!"
Not my wife but it was funny anyway
That is the truest thing I've seen in a while!!!
Hahahaahahahahaaaaa
