:)
A Joke a Day Keeps The Boredom Away . . .
- Thread starter Kevin
- Start date
An air traffic control tower suddenly lost communication with a small twin-engine aircraft. A moment later the tower landline rang and was answered by one of the employees.
The passenger riding with the pilot who lost communication was on a cellular phone. He yelled, “Mayday Mayday Mayday! The pilot had an instant and fatal heart attack. I grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket and he had told me before we took off he had the tower on his speed dial memory. I am flying upside down at 18,000 feet and traveling at 180 mph. Mayday Mayday Mayday!"
The employee in the tower immediately put him on speaker phone and said, "Calm down, we acknowledge you and we'll guide you down after a few questions. The first thing is not to panic. Remain calm!"
He began his series of questions:
Tower: "How do you know you are traveling at 18,000 feet?"
Aircraft: "I can see that it reads 18,000 feet on the altimeter dial in front of me."
Tower: "Okay, that's good, remain calm. How do you know you're traveling at 180 mph?"
Aircraft: "I can see that it reads 180 mph on the airspeed dial in front of me."
Tower: "Okay, this is great so far, but it's heavily overcast. So how do you know you're flying upside down?"
Aircraft: "The pee from my pants is running out of my shirt collar."
The passenger riding with the pilot who lost communication was on a cellular phone. He yelled, “Mayday Mayday Mayday! The pilot had an instant and fatal heart attack. I grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket and he had told me before we took off he had the tower on his speed dial memory. I am flying upside down at 18,000 feet and traveling at 180 mph. Mayday Mayday Mayday!"
The employee in the tower immediately put him on speaker phone and said, "Calm down, we acknowledge you and we'll guide you down after a few questions. The first thing is not to panic. Remain calm!"
He began his series of questions:
Tower: "How do you know you are traveling at 18,000 feet?"
Aircraft: "I can see that it reads 18,000 feet on the altimeter dial in front of me."
Tower: "Okay, that's good, remain calm. How do you know you're traveling at 180 mph?"
Aircraft: "I can see that it reads 180 mph on the airspeed dial in front of me."
Tower: "Okay, this is great so far, but it's heavily overcast. So how do you know you're flying upside down?"
Aircraft: "The pee from my pants is running out of my shirt collar."
Somewhere in NC - nope - CA 'nuff said about that!
This is an oxymoron if I’ve ever seen it! Took this picture today in the grocery store! (I hate Kale!)
Now that’s funny!!! Not the painting, the moron that tried to go through it!!
A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink rapidly. 
“Is everything okay, pal?” the bartender asks.
“My wife and I got into a fight and she said she isn’t talking to me for a month!”
Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says,
“Well, maybe that’s kind of a good thing. You know, a little peace and quiet?”
“Yeah. But today is the last day.”
“Is everything okay, pal?” the bartender asks.
“My wife and I got into a fight and she said she isn’t talking to me for a month!”
Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says,
“Well, maybe that’s kind of a good thing. You know, a little peace and quiet?”
“Yeah. But today is the last day.”
A flock!
plierses
pluraliers
tool reproduction, weren't you paying attention during biology 101?
An old married couple had just retired to bed when the husband lets one rip and proudly says, "Seven points!"His wife rolls over and asks, "What in the world was that?"
He grins and replies, "Fart football!"
A few minutes later, she answers back with one of her own: "Touchdown, tie score."
He fires off another - "Aha! I'm ahead 14 to 7!"
Not to be outdone, she lets another one go - "Touchdown! Tie score again!"
Then comes a little squeaker from her side - "Field goal! I’m up 17 to 14!"
Now the pressure's on... he refuses to be beaten. He strains with all his might - and accidentally poops the bed.
His wife gasps, "What the heck was that?!"
He shrugs and says, "Halftime. Switch sides."
