# Favorite quotes



## SENC (Jan 20, 2015)

As a child, I was given an old copy of Bartlett's Quotations, and still have a tremendous affinity for witty, humorous, insightful, intelligent, dumb, and just plain great quotations. What are your favorite quotations?

One of my favorite funnies came from Steve Spurrier, talking to Gator fans after news of a fire in the Auburn football dorm that destroyed 20 books: "But the real tragedy is that 15 of them hadn't been colored, yet."

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3


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## Tclem (Jan 20, 2015)

"I did not have sexual relations with that woman "
Bill Clinton

Reactions: Funny 2


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## manbuckwal (Jan 20, 2015)

I'll be your Huckleberry

Reactions: Like 4


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## APBcustoms (Jan 20, 2015)

Cowboys ride their horses. Rednecks ride their cuzins

Reactions: Funny 3


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## SENC (Jan 21, 2015)

manbuckwal said:


> I'll be your Huckleberry


Doc Holliday right? This is one of my favorites, too.

Reactions: Agree 1


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## SENC (Jan 21, 2015)

APBcustoms said:


> Cowboys ride their horses. Rednecks ride their cuzins


Funny. Who gets credit for it?


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## JR Custom Calls (Jan 21, 2015)

Don't believe everything you read on the internet - Abe Lincoln

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


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## ripjack13 (Jan 21, 2015)

Arguments with trees are rarely productive...
Marc Hunter

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 1


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## APBcustoms (Jan 21, 2015)

SENC said:


> Funny. Who gets credit for it?



i think it was from the movie american sniper


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## manbuckwal (Jan 21, 2015)

Stupid is as stupid does


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## Final Strut (Jan 21, 2015)

“Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.” 
― George Carlin

or his predecessor

“Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.” 
― Mark Twain

Reactions: Like 2 | Great Post 2


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## Molokai (Jan 21, 2015)

Sun is shining, grass is green,
Henry and Tony are friends indeed

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 3


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## Tclem (Jan 21, 2015)

Molokai said:


> Sun is shining, grass is green,
> Henry and Tony are friends indeed


Blah blah blah. You are banned from this site

Reactions: Funny 4


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## Kevin (Jan 21, 2015)

manbuckwal said:


> I'll be your Huckleberry





SENC said:


> Doc Holliday right? This is one of my favorites, too.



Sheesh what's the world coming to. The actual quote is . . . 

_I'm your huckleberry . . . _Doc Holliday as played by Val Kilmer in Tombstone

Here's one of my favorite quotes:

_I don't know what to think about people who can't even quote their own favorite quotes._ Kevin.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4


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## barry richardson (Jan 21, 2015)



Reactions: Funny 4


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## Kevin (Jan 21, 2015)

barry richardson said:


> View attachment 69427



Someone needs to ask  if Abe really said that. That'll settle it once and for all . . . . .

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 2


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## eaglea1 (Jan 21, 2015)

Holy Crap, it smells like the s&*t house door on a tuna boat in here! Nobody light a match!
My brother after going in the bathroom after our Dad just came out.

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Tclem (Jan 21, 2015)

Actually I have been known to say quite often
"That dog won't hunt"

Reactions: Agree 1


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## Kevin (Jan 21, 2015)

Tclem said:


> Actually I have been knkw to say quite often
> "That dog won't hunt"



Me too. One of my favorites.


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## kweinert (Jan 21, 2015)

Artificial flowers cannot die, for life within them is illusion.

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you can't learn in any other way.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3


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## barry richardson (Jan 21, 2015)

I like this one: 
Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.

H. L. Mencken


see reality TV for validation...

Reactions: Like 3


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## Mike1950 (Jan 21, 2015)

"Waste of Skin" mike1950- opinion of SIL

Reactions: Funny 4


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## ripjack13 (Jan 21, 2015)

We’ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to @Brink , we know this is not true.

Reactions: Funny 2


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## Kevin (Jan 21, 2015)

_... it's gettin mighty cold . . . colder than a gutshot bitch wolfdog with 9 suckin pups pulling a #4 trap up a hill in the dead of winter in the middle of a snowstorm with a mouth full of porcupine quills. _Tom Waits. 

My kids used to bug me to say that whenever it would get cold. I've had it memorized since 1979 when I bought _Spare Parts_.

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 1


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## Final Strut (Jan 21, 2015)

Kevin said:


> _... it's gettin mighty cold . . . colder than a gutshot bitch wolfdog with 9 suckin pups pulling a #4 trap up a hill in the dead of winter in the middle of a snowstorm with a mouth full of porcupine quills. _Tom Waits.
> 
> My kids used to bug me to say that whenever it would get cold. I've had it memorized since 1979 when I bought _Spare Parts_.


 I am going to have to remember that for when my kids start whining when it gets down to 10-15 below (when it is actually cold).

Reactions: Agree 1 | +Karma 1


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## ripjack13 (Jan 21, 2015)

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy… all day. 
Mitch Hedberg

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Funny 3


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## woodintyuuu (Jan 21, 2015)

"there is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance-that principle 
is contempt prior to investigation" Herbert Spencer bout sums it up for me

Reactions: Like 4


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## Schroedc (Jan 21, 2015)

"There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither Work" -Will Rogers

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 4 | Funny 1


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## jmurray (Jan 21, 2015)

"I used to be engaged to a moonshiners daughter, I love her still."

Old Guy at my sons hockey game must have told 50 jokes last nite. That was the only one I found remotely funny

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3


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## Kevin (Jan 22, 2015)

ripjack13 said:


> Mitch Hedberg



He was my all time favorite.

Reactions: Agree 1


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## Mike Mills (Jan 22, 2015)

Some people are like a Slinky.
Not really good for anything but still it brings a smile to your face if they are pushed them down a flight of stairs.

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 6


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## Tony (Jan 22, 2015)

True friendship is like peeing your pants; everyone can see it but only you can feel it's warmth.

Author Unknown, so I'll take credit. TA

Reactions: Funny 5


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## TimR (Jan 22, 2015)

Kevin said:


> Someone needs to ask  if Abe really said that. That'll settle it once and for all . . . . .



I bet there's a wiki on that!!


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## TimR (Jan 22, 2015)

"America is the only country in the world where failing to promote yourself is regarded as being arrogant". Garry Trudeau

Reactions: Like 1


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## Kevin (Jan 22, 2015)

ripjack13 said:


> Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy… all day.
> Mitch Hedberg



More classic Mitch . . .

_I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to too. _

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 2


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## ripjack13 (Jan 22, 2015)

Mitch was awesome....

Reactions: Agree 1


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## Molokai (Jan 22, 2015)

"I dont know who is Mitch Hedberg and i am afraid to use wikipedia"

Tom aka Molokai-soon-to-be-banned

p.s. really, who is Mitch

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Kevin (Jan 22, 2015)

Molokai said:


> "I dont know who is Mitch Hedberg and i am afraid to use wikipedia"
> 
> Tom aka Molokai-soon-to-be-banned
> 
> p.s. really, who is Mitch



Mitch was the kind of comedian that started out slow and got better and better and better and by the time he was through the audience was in love with him. If you have the time, watch the whole thing. His comdey was dry, mostly one-liners, and 99% free of foul language. He is probably my favorite comedian of all along with Steven Wright and George Wallace

Reactions: Great Post 1


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## wombat (Jan 22, 2015)

My high school teacher to one of the girls who thought she could get away with anything because of a slight limp.

"You think you're king bat guana, well as far as I'm concerned, you're not even warm diarrhea!! "

Reactions: Funny 2


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## Kevin (Jan 22, 2015)

ripjack13 said:


> Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy… all day.
> Mitch Hedberg



_"... and if you wear a turtleneck and a backpack, it's like a weak midget trying to bring you down."_

Reactions: Great Post 1 | Funny 1


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## ripjack13 (Jan 22, 2015)

Ha....I just watched that whole video. And then a few more.....he left way too soon.


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## barry richardson (Jan 22, 2015)

"Reality is that which,when you stop believing it, doesn't go away.
Philip K. Dick

Reactions: Like 1


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