# Question Of The Week... ( 2016 Week 47 )



## ripjack13

So this weeks question is a fun lil oddball one. Just to lighten up around here and keep up with the shenanigans.

*You might be a woodworker if...*







**Rules**
There is no minimum post requirement,
primates, woodticks and *leprechauns* are welcome to post an answer.
And of course the  and the doc too...


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## ripjack13

If you carry a tape measure with you everywhere you go.

Reactions: Like 2


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## ripjack13

You blow your nose and sawdust comes out...

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 3 | Sincere 1


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## ripjack13

instead of saying "2 inches" you say "eight quarters".....

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 2 | Funny 1


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## justallan

ripjack13 said:


> If you carry a tape measure with you everywhere you go.


So it's not actually to see how long it takes to do something?

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 3


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## woodtickgreg

If every flat surface of your shop is piled high with wood....

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 3


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## woodtickgreg

If you say "I got wood" and you really mean it......

Reactions: Like 1 | Great Post 1 | Funny 2


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## woodtickgreg

There's a trail of sawdust leading to the bathroom......

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Funny 1


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## woodtickgreg

You see a stack of firewood as project stock........

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 2 | Funny 2


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## woodtickgreg

You get up on Sunday morning and wait for Marc to post the qotw...................

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 2 | Funny 3 | +Karma 1


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## Nature Man

You have more wood than you could possibly use in 100 years. Chuck

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 6


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## DKMD

Nature Man said:


> You have more wood than you could possibly use in 100 years. Chuck



And you're still aggressively looking for more.

Reactions: Agree 9 | Funny 1


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## David Hill

The Mrs. won't let you in the house until you "shake off".....

You'd rather "talk" to a piece of wood instead of people at work.

When you look at trees when travelling and visualize what can be made if it came to your yard.

Reactions: Like 4


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## NYWoodturner

When you pull over to nab that chunk of tree in the woods or by the side of the road.

You look forward to the annual utility company tree trimming in your county.

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 4


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## Mike1950

woodtickgreg said:


> If every flat surface of your shop is piled high with wood....



So that is not normal???

Reactions: Agree 2 | Funny 2


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## Mike1950

DKMD said:


> And you're still aggressively looking for more.



Not me...

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Schroedc

When you can identify wood by smell and the taste of the sawdust.

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 4 | Funny 1


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## justallan

These may apply to some of you folks.
When your honeymoon or once in a lifetime trip with your spouse includes sneaking wood back into the country.
When your wife is limited to 3 lbs. of clothes for a 2 week trip abroad so you can use the extra weight and space for wood OR you take only clothes that you can throw away before the return trip.
NOVICE WOODWORKER=You tried any of the above.
MASTER WOODWORKER=You actually talked her into it!

Reactions: Great Post 3 | Funny 6 | Useful 1


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## Brink

...when you're escorted out of the National Gallery of Art, Washington DC, for opening drawers to see how furniture was made.

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Funny 10 | +Karma 1


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## ripjack13

Brink said:


> ...when you're escorted out of the National Gallery of Art, Washington DC, for opening drawers to see how furniture was made.



And to add...you're wife gets angry at you for doing that at friends houses...

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 3


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## ripjack13

You teach your grandson how to spell woodbarter before teaching him how to spell his name....

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 2


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## ripjack13

...your wife takes your wood to use as decorative objects on the shelves.....and you're ok with this.

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1


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## Mike1950

Brink said:


> ...when you're escorted out of the National Gallery of Art, Washington DC, for opening drawers to see how furniture was made.





ripjack13 said:


> And to add...you're wife gets angry at you for doing that at friends houses...



I have gotten in trouble for both--- But can I just see the inside.....

Reactions: Like 2


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## Schroedc

Brink said:


> ...when you're escorted out of the National Gallery of Art, Washington DC, for opening drawers to see how furniture was made.



Whoops. On a related note, I was in a museum in Minneapolis and was getting close to some of the furniture and one of the docents was moving towards me just to make sure I didn't touch (Had my hands clasped behind my back to show I wasn't going to) and I said I'd love to be able to open drawers and lift the top to see how they were done as I am a woodworker and the next thing I know, I'm being handed a pair of cotton gloves and allowed behind the rope. The only thing they wouldn't let me do was take pictures.

Reactions: Way Cool 7 | +Karma 1


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## Mike1950

ripjack13 said:


> ...your wife takes your wood to use as decorative objects on the shelves.....and you're ok with this.



She does not realize she has just agreed to inside wood storage

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 2 | Great Post 2 | Funny 4


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## ripjack13

you've ever asked yourself, "What would @barry richardson do?"

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 2 | Funny 3


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## ripjack13

you've ever asked yourself,"What would @Brink do?"

Reactions: Agree 3 | Funny 1


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## ripjack13

you've ever asked yourself,"What would @DKMD do?"

Reactions: Agree 2 | Funny 1


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## ripjack13

...you've picked through the dumpster at a custom cabinet shop for exotic wood scraps. (yes, @norman vandyke )

Reactions: Agree 2


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## justallan

ripjack13 said:


> ...your wife takes your wood to use as decorative objects on the shelves.....and you're ok with this.


I agree with Mike, either that or it's a pacifier to let you continue on with your hoarding.

Reactions: Like 1


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## ripjack13

....you name your dog "Burl"...

Reactions: Funny 3


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## justallan

ripjack13 said:


> ...you've picked through the dumpster at a custom cabinet shop for exotic wood scraps. (yes, @norman vandyke )


AND.......you know what kind of wood you have by country of origin on crates.
I've been told most crates from Komatsu are teak, but that came from a union mechanic so who knows.

Reactions: Like 1


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## ripjack13

....you lick a piece of untreated wood to see what the finished surface might look like.

Reactions: Funny 4 | Sincere 1


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## Tony

My wife and I were at a museum and she was looking at some sculpture, I don't even remember what it was. She said, "isn't that magnificent? " I said "yes, those routed flutes that spiral up the pedestal are awesome!" She said I have no class or taste. She's not wrong either. Tony

Reactions: Funny 7


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## barry richardson

You size up every tree you see for potential lumber or turning blanks...

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 4


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## ripjack13

....you'd rather read a Fine Woodworking magazine instead of the Victoria Secret catalog....

Reactions: Like 1


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## Mike1950

You drive into a neighborhood with old trees and burls and evil thoughts come to your mind of late night raids......

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 2 | Funny 1


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## norman vandyke

ripjack13 said:


> ...you've picked through the dumpster at a custom cabinet shop for exotic wood scraps. (yes, @norman vandyke )


There was no dumpster involved but yes and I wasn't the only one picking. Lol!

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Schroedc

You reread a post you're writing 3 or 4 times trying to make sure there is no way anyone can turn it into a bad joke, find a bad joke and post it anyways

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3


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## DKMD

Mike1950 said:


> Not me...


Especially you...

Reactions: Agree 2 | Funny 1


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## DKMD

You hoard special pieces of wood refusing to use them for a project because you know they have the potential for greatness beyond the current project(and typically beyond anything I'm capable of ever making).

You gift someone something you've made and then proc ed to verbally assault them with obscure wood facts that they couldn't care less about (leaving you to silently wonder if they deserve what they've been given).

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 2 | Funny 3


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## woodtickgreg

ripjack13 said:


> ....you'd rather read a Fine Woodworking magazine instead of the Victoria Secret catalog....


Whoa, wait a minute! Not true!

Reactions: Funny 2


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## woodman6415

When the boss tells me to get my lazy rear down to shop and make her something first thing in the morning ... then around midnight send some text asking if I'm ever coming to bed ...

I've been a woodworker so long I don't know how to not be one !!! 

50+ years

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 2


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## Schroedc

woodman6415 said:


> When the boss tells me to get my lazy rear down to shop and make her something first thing in the morning ... then around midnight send some text asking if I'm ever coming to bed ...
> 
> I've been a woodworker so long I don't know how to not be one !!!
> 
> 50+ years



Yep, been there, My wife asks if I'm coming home from the shop, I tell her I just have this one more thing to do and she heads to bed knowing I won't be home for a while  For some reason she won't let me add a shower and more of a kitchen to the shop.......

Reactions: Funny 6


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## ripjack13

Schroedc said:


> Yep, been there, My wife asks if I'm coming home from the shop, I tell her I just have this one more thing to do and she heads to bed knowing I won't be home for a while  For some reason she won't let me add a shower and more of a kitchen to the shop.......



Microwave and a fifth burner work great!

Reactions: Informative 1


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## manbuckwal

Might be a woodworker if............. Your name is Tony

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 3


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## Lou Currier

...When your middle finger is shorter than your ring finger.

Reactions: Funny 4


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## Fsyxxx

Your son can identify the woods used for knife scales on the table at the gun show.

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 1 | Way Cool 3 | +Karma 1


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## norman vandyke

One of your kid's first words is "burl."

Reactions: Way Cool 2


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## kweinert

If you've asked the city sod dump place if you can bring a chainsaw back to where the logs are dumped (No - it's a liability thing)

If you hear a chainsaw and go hunt down where the sound is coming from.

If you keep searching Craigslist because someone just might post some (free) real wood there. It can't all be be trim and MDF, right?

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Funny 1


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## woodtickgreg

kweinert said:


> If you've asked the city sod dump place if you can bring a chainsaw back to where the logs are dumped (No - it's a liability thing)
> 
> If you hear a chainsaw and go hunt down where the sound is coming from.
> 
> If you keep searching Craigslist because someone just might post some (free) real wood there. It can't all be be trim and MDF, right?


Funny, I do all of that!

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1


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## Sprung

ripjack13 said:


> If you carry a tape measure with you everywhere you go.



I had one in each vehicle, though somehow the one in the van ended up in the other vehicle. So now I have two in one vehicle - and need to move one back to the van...



Schroedc said:


> Whoops. On a related note, I was in a museum in Minneapolis and was getting close to some of the furniture and one of the docents was moving towards me just to make sure I didn't touch (Had my hands clasped behind my back to show I wasn't going to) and I said I'd love to be able to open drawers and lift the top to see how they were done as I am a woodworker and the next thing I know, I'm being handed a pair of cotton gloves and allowed behind the rope. The only thing they wouldn't let me do was take pictures.



Which museum? Several years ago I was eyeing up some furniture at MIA when there with Katy. I wish there had been someone around to allow me to get a closer look at some of the pieces...

Reactions: Like 1


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## Sprung

...when your wife is adamant that you're not going to use her new-to-us van to haul tools and lumber and, within the first year, you've hauled on various trips a drum sander, a drill press, a table saw, a good stack of lumber (that was packed around the drum sander), a few small logs, and a couple other things I can't remember right now. Soon as I can find a day to head eastward to Colin's, it'll be loaded up with another drill press...

Hey, it's got more cargo space than my Ford Escape - and the floor is at a lower level off the ground, making it easier to load and unload.

She knows that this is what she gets for not letting me buy a truck. She now adamantly agrees that our next vehicle purchase will be a truck for me.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1 | Way Cool 1


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## Schroedc

Sprung said:


> ...when your wife is adamant that you're not going to use her new-to-us van to haul tools and lumber and, within the first year, you've hauled on various trips a drum sander, a drill press, a table saw, a good stack of lumber (that was packed around the drum sander), a few small logs, and a couple other things I can't remember right now. Soon as I can find a day to head eastward to Colin's, it'll be loaded up with another drill press...
> 
> Hey, it's got more cargo space than my Ford Escape - and the floor is at a lower level off the ground, making it easier to load and unload.
> 
> She knows that this is what she gets for not letting me buy a truck. She now adamantly agrees that our next vehicle purchase will be a truck for me.



I know a guy with a box van with a lift gate for sale.....

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Sprung

Schroedc said:


> I know a guy with a box van with a lift gate for sale.....



But that wouldn't be as fun as the look I get every time I load up Katy's van with wood or tools!

Reactions: Like 1


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## woodtickgreg

If you have to go into your shop everyday after work to smell the fresh load of walnut (or insert species) you just brought home.

Reactions: Agree 1 | Way Cool 1


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## Don Ratcliff

When your wife won't let you wash clothes because if yours get mixed with hers she will have wood chips in her clothes. 

When your wife tells her friends she is a "wood shop widow" because they have never met her husband.

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 2 | Funny 2


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## David Van Asperen

if you can find a way to justify a new tool that you do not really need and do not have the " ready" funds for, and better yet yet your wife okays it.

Reactions: Agree 1 | Way Cool 1


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## David Van Asperen

you find find yourself hoping for a big storm that brings down trees.
The tree service guy calls you to see if you are interested in a few logs or a couple loads of firewood.
your scrap bin is off limits for the firewood box

Reactions: Like 1


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## ripjack13

ripjack13 said:


> *You might be a woodworker if...*





Schroedc said:


> When you can identify wood by smell and the taste of the sawdust.





Blueglass said:


> I licked a couple of the Eucalyptus and an Ekki for figure, not kidding, I really like figure.





lonewolf said:


> What does licking the eucalyptus and elki do for the figure. I may have to try that. Lol

Reactions: Funny 1


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