# New found respect



## Woodworking Vet (Feb 17, 2020)

I haven't been on this site for several months. In late November while I was at my doctor's appointment I received a phone call that my 98 year old grandmother fell and broke her hip. Though she's 98 she lives alone on the ranch and is probably 'younger' than many of us on this site. 

Within minutes I packed up and drove to Walla Walla Washington and I've been by her side every day since. She had a hip replacement surgery then went to the nursing home for physical therapy, then we both got the flu, she went back to the hospital for a week where they waited on her hand and foot before returning to the nursing home. She is due to come home soon but I have no intent of leaving until I can find someone to drive her to her appointments and do a little housekeeping. I think I'll be here another month. 

Every day from 7am to 6pm I've been by her side. She's had a strong advocate, we've played lots of cards and two games of scrabble every single day. 

I never knew how much being a caretaker can take out of you. I'm utterly exhausted. I'm wiped. And the expense of running two households can be a strain as well. But I would do anything for my grandmother, one of my best friends. 

I now have a new found respect for anyone that cares for another. I never knew what it takes. I've only done it for three months so far, my hat off to those that do it year after year. 

I'm grateful that my mother could fly up for a week, I needed a break but I find myself going in to see my grandmother every day anyway. Maybe its a mental break. I've also had my eyes open to how family can be. My grandmother's son and other grandkids live right here and haven't even taken the time to go by and see her or offer to help. That's okay, she knows who loves her.

While my mother has been here I've had the fortune to process some wood. My grandmother's 79 year old silver maple tree just came down, the 7' crotch is too much for my chainsaw so it will remain in the burn pile, there is however some lovely wood stacked next to the house ready for me to take back. And today I started processing some rather large logs of Russian Olivewood. Its nice to get some sawdust all over me but I still feel guilty for not being at my grandmother's side the past few days. Many thanks to my mother for giving me this break, many thanks for the caregivers out there that make so many sacrifices to care for their loved ones.

I am happy to say that grandma is doing great and will be able to continue living alone at home with some light assistance. Now I need to start learning to give my grandmother some space and trust that she'll be okay. I need to start giving myself some time as well, and that will be the hardest thing for me to do.

Reactions: Like 3 | Great Post 3 | Sincere 16


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## Maverick (Feb 18, 2020)

Thanks for sharing your story.

Reactions: Thank You! 1 | Agree 3


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## woodtickgreg (Feb 18, 2020)

Very touching. My parents have been gone for many years and I'm only 59. You are blessed to still have family. Kudos to you for taking care of her in her time of need. What you might not of realized is actually what she has given you, to bad the other members of the family wont receive the same gift.

Reactions: Agree 4 | Great Post 1


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## Tony (Feb 18, 2020)

David, great to hear from you! I'm so glad you and your grandmother are doing well. My grandmother is who I considered my mother, when I lost her it was devastating to me, still hurts. Hats off to you for taking care of her, what a gift you've gotten being able to spend this time with her!

Reactions: Like 1 | Thank You! 1


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## CWS (Feb 18, 2020)

Glad your grandmother is getting better. I have a lot of respect for people in the health care field. I have a brother in a nursing home and some days he can be hard to be around, but most of the nurses and aids treat him with respect. I can't imagine coming to work everyday facing someone who is in pain and doesn't want to be there.

Reactions: Sincere 1


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## Mike1950 (Feb 18, 2020)

Happy to hear from you again. Knew you were in Walla Walla- Glad she gets to go back to ranch. Did the caretaker thing a couple times, it is physically and mentally exhausting. stop by when you get your life back on track...

Reactions: Like 1


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## trc65 (Feb 18, 2020)

Helping to care for our elderly (Or any) family can be one of the toughest and yet rewarding jobs. Biggest mistake is caregivers not taking care of themselves....

If your grandmother needs help at home, consider looking into home health services if you haven't yet. My sister has worked in the field for 25 years, and it amazes me how few people know of some of the services available. 

Services range from just light cleaning once or twice a week, cooking, driving to appointments, driving and helping with shopping, help with bathing and dressing and many more needed tasks.

Not all of it is private pay. Medicare and Medicaid, VA, and private insurance all may cover costs. Around here, private pay costs start at about $25 per hour depending on services.

Most (all?) Of these companies have social workers that will come to your grandmother's house and meet with both of you to explain available services and help navigate the insurance/payment minefield.

Reactions: Like 2 | Great Post 1


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## Gdurfey (Feb 18, 2020)

Damon, great to hear from you. You spoke volumes, my sister was the caregiver for our mom for about 5 years. Also had home health care the last 3 years. 

what a special relationship you have. Do take care of yourself. Prayers for you and her.

Reactions: Thank You! 1


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## Woodworking Vet (Feb 19, 2020)

Thank you everyone. At 98 grandma is doing really well. She is now walking with the aid of a walker and able to toilet and shower on her own. We're both looking forward to later in the week when she can come home. I'm finding that the more she does on her own the more time I can have to myself. Its been a journey for both of us. 

Over the past five or so years I've had the wonderful opportunity to visit with her numerous times a year and each time she gives me stories that even her kids don't know. Stories about walking sheep up to northern Idaho every year with a covered wagon, where she was when WWII started, who her favorite president was and so much more. I've written as much as I could down, one day I'll need to figure out what to do with it all. 

Yesterday I had a couple hours so I added to my growing stack of russian olivewood blanks.

Reactions: Like 3 | Sincere 1


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