# New cutting board project



## Tony (Jul 31, 2017)

So I came home to a surprise today. This box came from @rocky1 and @Woodworking Vet. Many thanks guys, I will keep y'all updated on my progress!!Tony

Reactions: Like 1 | EyeCandy! 1 | Funny 11


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## Woodworking Vet (Jul 31, 2017)

You're very welcome, and here's wishing you an early Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I would like to take all the credit but most of it really should go to @rocky1 . Did you like the instructions?

Reactions: Like 3


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## Tony (Jul 31, 2017)

Woodworking Vet said:


> You're very welcome, and here's wishing you an early Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> 
> I would like to take all the credit but most of it really should go to @rocky1 . Did you like the instructions?



I got a hell of a laugh! 

By the way, wait outside by the mailbox, the check for my lifetime membership should be there any day!!!!!!!!

Reactions: Funny 2


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## ripjack13 (Jul 31, 2017)

Let's see if I got this right....
Nail polish remover...
A top notch doobie holder
A stale block of cheese...
And some au natural tp....

Hmmm....

Reactions: Like 1 | Great Post 2 | Funny 2


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## Woodworking Vet (Jul 31, 2017)

Tony said:


> I got a hell of a laugh!
> 
> By the way, wait outside by the mailbox, the check for my lifetime membership should be there any day!!!!!!!!



I'm sitting by the mail box with a beer in my hand, and I'm not going to stop drinking until the check arrives!!

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1


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## ripjack13 (Jul 31, 2017)

What if you run out of beer?

Reactions: Creative 1


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## Tony (Jul 31, 2017)

ripjack13 said:


> What if you run out of beer?

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Funny 1


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## Woodworking Vet (Jul 31, 2017)

For anyone interested, here are the instructions to Tony's new cutting board kit;


*Cutting Board Kit*

A gift from
@rocky1

provided by
Woodworking Vet

_*WARNING! Follow all instructions! *_
Read through this instruction booklet in its entirety before beginning assembly. It contains important instructions and warnings concerning the building and use of this cutting board.

_*WARNING! This is NOT a toy!*_
The cutting board you will build from this kit is not a toy! It is capable of serious bodily harm and property damage if not used correctly. Do not use finished product as a hitting object or weapon.

_*WARNING! Use proper safety equipment!*_
It is highly recommended that you use personal protection equipment including safety goggles, full face shield, leather gloves, respirator, full length sleeves and pants, hearing protection and any other protection you deem necessary.

_*WARNING! It is your responsibility and yours alone!*_
It is your responsibility to build this kit correctly. This kit is designed for experienced and competent woodworkers only. It is your responsiblity to seek assistance and help from more experienced woodworkers. Use common sense and complete this kit in accordance with all safety instructions as set forth by the Academy of Cutting Board Building Safety Guidelines. It is suggested that you join the ACBBSG by submitting a payment of $499.99 for a life time membership to Woodworking Vet before you attempt to assemble this cutting board. IF YOU ARE JUST STARTING CUTTING BOARD BUILDING, CONSULT YOUR LOCAL HOBBY SHOP OR WRITE TO THE ACBBSG TO FIND AN EXPERIENCED CUTTING BOARD BUILDER IN YOUR AREA.


*Contents *
Black Locust Shavings Qty 8320
White Glue Bottle Qty 1
Clamp Qty 1
Sandpaper Qty 1
Instructions Qty 1

*Assembly instructions*
1. Sort all pieces of wood by size from Left to Right, Large to Small
2. Starting from the left side of your sorted wood, take one shaving
and apply glue to one side. Set aside and let dry for 24 hours.
3. Remove clamp from your glued block. Apply glue to left side of block.
Take one shaving from your pile and clamp to glued block. Set aside
and let dry for 24 hours.
4. Repeat process until all pieces have been glued together.
5. Sand glued cutting board until both sides are flat and smooth.
6. Apply finish of choice.
7. Package and mail cutting board to Rocky for inspection and approval.

Reactions: Like 1 | Great Post 4 | Funny 9 | Way Cool 1 | Creative 1


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## Woodworking Vet (Jul 31, 2017)

ripjack13 said:


> What if you run out of beer?



That can't really happen, can it?

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 1


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## Tony (Jul 31, 2017)

Good stuff y'all! I can't believe the trouble y'all went through, but it was dam funny! Kevin would've loved it! Tony

Reactions: Like 3 | Agree 6 | Funny 1


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## ripjack13 (Jul 31, 2017)

Sounds easily doable....

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Funny 1


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## ripjack13 (Jul 31, 2017)

Woodworking Vet said:


> That can't really happen, can it?



It's never happened to me, but I know a guy that happened too....terrible...

Reactions: Funny 2


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## Woodworking Vet (Jul 31, 2017)

ripjack13 said:


> It's never happened to me, but I know a guy that happened too....terrible...



I'm not worried about it, as soon as Tony's check for $499 arrives I'll just go buy more beer. Should be any day now

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 1


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## rocky1 (Jul 31, 2017)

Well, I didn't go to a lot of trouble.  I just sorta suggested paying for an extra mailing label, and having David send my box to you, with a note telling you we were just kidding, and you needed to forward it to me. 

Then he suggested the cutting board assembly kit, which I simply couldn't resist. Told him PayPal for the postage was on the way, soon as I got to my computer. 

He sent the instructions before I got to PayPal, and I was laughing so damn hard I shorted him 85 cents on the postage. Then he decided to send parts for a bigger cutting board, since everything is big in Texas, so I owe him a few bucks and a cold beer or two yet. 


Glad you liked it buddy!!

Reactions: Like 2 | Thank You! 1 | Way Cool 1


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## Tony (Jul 31, 2017)

It was definitely one for the ages, thanks guys!! I needed this! Tony

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 1


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## rocky1 (Jul 31, 2017)

Well I could maybe have @Mike1950 send you one too, but that one would be up there in the "expert" skill level, because his lathe is parked. And, there'd be lots more smaller pieces!!

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3


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## Woodworking Vet (Jul 31, 2017)

Overhead was low on this cutting board kit. Maybe I should market them as a gag gift and to those living in Texas.

Reactions: Agree 2 | Funny 1


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## Tony (Jul 31, 2017)

Woodworking Vet said:


> Overhead was low on this cutting board kit. Maybe I should market them as a gag gift and to those living in Texas.



I know a Stoopid Islander that would pay a premium price for one!
@Don Ratcliff

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 1 | Funny 1


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## Woodworking Vet (Jul 31, 2017)

Glad to hear it made your day Tony. Every once in a while we just need to have some fun and a good laugh. Wish I was there to see you open the box. Its black locust sap wood, in case you were wondering.

Reactions: Agree 1


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## Tony (Jul 31, 2017)

That's what I suspected, many thanks David!


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## Don Ratcliff (Jul 31, 2017)

Tony said:


> I know a Stoopid Islander that would pay a premium price for one!
> @Don Ratcliff


So when you are done the finished product will be a glued together cutting board that is not plywood cut into the shape of Texas and you think I will pay a premium for this honor? I think someone hit their widdle head in da wind vortex of death...

Reactions: Funny 2


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## rocky1 (Jul 31, 2017)



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## rocky1 (Jul 31, 2017)

Yeah... the only down side was we didn't have anyone to film you opening the box! And, reading the instructions!!

Reactions: Agree 3


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## Wildthings (Jul 31, 2017)

Woodworking Vet said:


> Its black locust sap wood, in case you were wondering.



Have they been stabilized?

Reactions: Funny 4


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## Woodworking Vet (Jul 31, 2017)

Wildthings said:


> Have they been stabilized?



That would have required an upgrade to the Premium kit, @Tony probably couldn't have afforded it.

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Blueglass (Aug 1, 2017)

That was great! I laughed a lot through the whole thread. I come back from vacation and find this. I love WB!

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1


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## Tony (Aug 1, 2017)

Blueglass said:


> That was great! I laughed a lot through the whole thread. I come back from vacation and find this. I love WB!



I've been laughing about it all day, telling my customers. Some of them don't get it, but some do! Tony

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 2


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## Blueglass (Aug 1, 2017)

Tony said:


> I've been laughing about it all day, telling my customers. Some of them don't get it, but some do! Tony


I do think the directions need updated. The pieces need to be staggered for strength.

Reactions: Agree 4 | Funny 1


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## Don Ratcliff (Aug 1, 2017)

Blueglass said:


> I do think the directions need updated. The pieces need to be staggered for strength.


Kind of like they do with plywood?

Reactions: Funny 2


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## Woodworking Vet (Aug 1, 2017)

Blueglass said:


> I do think the directions need updated. The pieces need to be staggered for strength.



Staggered would have required a higher skill set.

Reactions: Great Post 2 | Funny 1


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## Tony (Aug 1, 2017)

Woodworking Vet said:


> Staggered would have required a higher skill set.

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Don Ratcliff (Aug 1, 2017)

Tony said:


>


Don't worry Tony, @ripjack13 will assign you a  "protector of the little guy." It wont be him, but he will through it out there anyway...

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 2


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## Don Ratcliff (Aug 1, 2017)

This is the 400,000th message on WB btw...

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## Wilson's Woodworking (Aug 24, 2017)

WELL !!!!!!!!
Still waiting for the pictures of the finished board!
Come on @Tony They went to all that work you need to do your part.

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 3


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