# Happy Independece Day



## Kevin (Mar 2, 2014)

178 years ago 59 men from around what is known mostly as Texas now, met at a little place _"where Texas became Texas"_ called _Washington-on-the-Brazos_ (properly hyphenated) and declared Independence from Mexico. 

Many Texans still celebrate this occasion. Personally I think it should be a holiday. Not just a state holiday either but a national holiday. Texas is the most important state in the Union and of course Texans are the most important citizens in the union. Non-Texans on this day often reflect on how demoraliziing it is to be from another state especially ones that they themselves can't decide what they are called. Vermontian or Vermonter? New Mexican or just Mexican? A Utahn or Utahan? _Hey look there goes a Utahn running across the lawn! Shoot it!_ But no one has any trouble knowing what you call someone from Texas . . . . full of horse$hit!


So lets hear your favorite Texas jokes while we wish happy birthday to an Independent Texas, and also to that notorious lady of Texas who gave birth to me, my mom. Happy birthday mom and Texas! And thanks for allowing me to narrowly escape the fate of having been called a Californian! 


P.S. Many of us Texans are forming up Companies to once again declare our independence . . . . from Mexico. Since the feds won't do it.

Reactions: Like 8 | Thank You! 1


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## Foot Patrol (Mar 2, 2014)

Happy Anniversary to the great state of Texas. Glad you posted this Kevin.

You know you are a Texan when you have 5 pairs of boots and they all serve different purposes.
1) Work boots
2) Rodeo boots
3) Dress boots
4) Casual boots
5) Huntin’ boots


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## Kevin (Mar 2, 2014)

These are some of my favorites:

Why are there so many unsolved murders in Texas? 
There are no dental records and everyone has the same DNA 

What is 20 feet long and has 5 teeth?
The funnel cake line at the Texas state fair. 

What do tornadoes and graduates from the University of Texas have in common? 
They both end up in trailer parks. 

How do you stop a Longhorns fan from beating his wife? 
Put her in an OU Sooner uniform.

Reactions: Like 1


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## Mike Jones (Mar 2, 2014)

Kevin, are you intent upon alienating a large population of WoodBarter members? This not being the first, (by a long shot) barb thrown at the state and the people that live here, now demonstrates a real dislike for us. I have defended your slaps at us in the past, but now I am more...just curious. How exactly would you characterize California or a Californian. What characteristic about Californians do you find so loathsome? Do you think that we are all surfers, and is there something about surfing that you can't tolerate? Do you think that we are a bunch of Commies? Pinkos? Gays? What defining characteristic is the most distasteful to you about Californians?


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## Kevin (Mar 2, 2014)

Mike Jones said:


> How exactly would you characterize California or a Californian.



I'd characterize them the same as Texans. Most of them are fine people. Some are not. Just like people in every state. If my jabs aren't taken for the obvious tongue-in-cheek that they are I do apologize. I thought I made it clear by the much worse jabs I take at Texans. I've always treated you with respect IMO and maybe I'm wet behind the ears but I just don't see how anyone could take my post as an insult, but you did obviously and I am sorry for not making it plainer that this thread was lighthearted fun.

Perhaps I could take your post as an insult, because if you think I am so stupid to actually make serious insults at people because they live somewhere in particular, then I am a dumbass indeed. Hopefully you will accept my apology, and next year I won't try to be humorous about it nor have any fun with it. And maybe I should just stop posting on my forum altogether if I have my obvious humor is still offensive to some.

Reactions: Great Post 1


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## Mike Jones (Mar 2, 2014)

No, no, no no...I get your humor! And I am not insulted by it. I honestly and sincerely would like to know how others...not just you, Kevin, ...but how Californians are characterized. New Yorkers are characterized as being brusk, rude, overly aggressive drivers etc....Kentuckians, as backwoodsy, Texans as bat guana kickers, and all, but I don't know what characteristics set we Californians apart...what jokes can be made about us?

If I can't get what we look like to others from other states, I find it hard to get humored by setting us out.


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## Kevin (Mar 2, 2014)

That's a relief to hear Mike, because in all honesty, I am much more "Californian" in my nature and outlook than I am the stereotypical "Texan" and that's for real. I also have great memories of living in California, except the time I stepped on a coke bottle and put a gash in the bottom of my foot a mile wide and had to get stitches. That's the only bad memory I have of California. Well, that and getting caught trying to scale the fence into Mexico when we lived in Chula Vista with a dead fish in my pocket (don't ask). I was grounded for week.


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## Brink (Mar 2, 2014)

Mike Jones said:


> No, no, no no...I get your humor! And I am not insulted by it. I honestly and sincerely would like to know how others...not just you, Kevin, ...but how Californians are characterized. New Yorkers are characterized as being brusk, rude, overly aggressive drivers etc....Kentuckians, as backwoodsy, Texans as bat guana kickers, and all, but I don't know what characteristics set we Californians apart...what jokes can be made about us?
> 
> If I can't get what we look like to others from other states, I find it hard to get humored by setting us out.



Wadaya mean, friggin NY'rs aren't like that!! Now get outta da way of the fridge or I'll make room. 

Side note...
Moma Brink still thinks Kevin is from Bayone

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Kevin (Mar 2, 2014)

Brink said:


> Side note...
> Moma Brink still thinks Kevin is from Bayone


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## Wildthings (Mar 2, 2014)

Don't forget it's also Sam Houston's birthday - March 2, 1793. Even though he wasn't born a Texan we forgive him cuz he became one of the greatest Texan in history


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## Kevin (Mar 2, 2014)

He was a great man. He had one of the most interesting lives of anyone you'll ever study. That dude has been through fire and suffering. Anyone who can get his penis shot with an arrow, pull it out, bandage it up, and return to the fight immediately and wreak havoc on the blue coats and Indians is not someone to truffle with. But yeah I read an autobigraphy on him well I guess close to 25 years ago now and it was a page turner. Thanks for the reminder I had totally forgotten it was his birthday also.


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## SENC (Mar 2, 2014)

Californians are known across the country for the knuckleheads they have elected over the last 20 years, both at a state and federal level. Not saying that is fair nor that there haven't been some good Californians elected, just that people (at least in the south) connect Cali with electing the likes of Jerry Brown, Swarzanegger, Pelosi, Boxer, etal, with wacko gun control laws, and with San Fran (why we (collectively) don't recognize there are other cities and sane parts of the state, I don't know).

Not particularly my opinions, just trying to answer your question (and start something to distract everyone from the end of the auction).

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 2


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## Mike Jones (Mar 2, 2014)

Thanks, Henry! I agree with y'all Southerners when it comes to bonehead California politics. Interestingly, a Referendum Petition to split California into six different states produced double the required number of signatures required to make the ballot for the next general election. Separately, four of our Northern counties have officially joined in support of the formation of one new State (the State of Jefferson) to split away from the rest of the state.

All of this is the result of immense dissatisfaction here with the way that a small geographic area, and a few counties in the south end of the state, have the population and associated representation to control the entire balance of the state. I am not likely to live long enough to see any of this come to a favorable conclusion, but at least I know that there are many Californians that would like to be counted when elections are held.

Reactions: Like 2 | Informative 1


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## SENC (Mar 2, 2014)

This thread reminded me of one of my favorite quotes:

Because I was born in the South, I'm a Southerner. If I had been born in the north, the west, or the central plains, I would be just a human being. -Clyde Edgerton

We do all claim what we know and love, and have fun ridiculing what we don't. It is good we can do both here without horribly offending each other, knowing 99.9% of the time it is all in fun.

Reactions: Agree 1


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## HomeBody (Mar 3, 2014)

If you removed Hollywood and all their influences, California would be much improved. California has a wonderful climate but in my opinion the weather/natural disasters suck. I'm in Illinois, which is not much better politically. Chicago leftists control the state. The present governor won only 2 of the 104 counties in IL, yet he was elected by the majority in Chicago. Like your state, our state could easily be divided in two along political lines. Chicago, and the rest of IL. In 3 yrs. my wife retires and we're heading south. NC and GA are high on the list. Gary


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## Mike Jones (Mar 4, 2014)

Mike Jones said:


> Thanks, Henry! I agree with y'all Southerners when it comes to bonehead California politics. Interestingly, a Referendum Petition to split California into six different states produced double the required number of signatures required to make the ballot for the next general election. Separately, four of our Northern counties have officially joined in support of the formation of one new State (the State of Jefferson) to split away from the rest of the state.
> 
> All of this is the result of immense dissatisfaction here with the way that a small geographic area, and a few counties in the south end of the state, have the population and associated representation to control the entire balance of the state. I am not likely to live long enough to see any of this come to a favorable conclusion, but at least I know that there are many Californians that would like to be counted when elections are held.




This showed up today. I think it would would be great if y'all would think of me as a "Jeffersonian" rather than a "Californian".

http://www.cbn.com/cbnnews/us/2014/March/The-New-USA-Secession-Movement-Gains-Steam/


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## SENC (Mar 4, 2014)

I never thought of YOU as Californian (just someone good who lives among Californians), but from now on Jeffersonian you are!

Reactions: Thank You! 1


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