# FUNNY or? bee stories



## Mike1950 (Apr 7, 2013)

Read Molaki's burl thread got me thinking about bee's. If you have worked or spent much time in the woods/outdoors you have had an experience with bees. Usually end result was not very funny.
Probably was 1964 -gramps had a sale right above the Kootenai river a couple miles from the Mont. border. His sale was about 2 miles from the river, there was a very old overgrown logging road going to the river. It was kind of a special spot because there was and island in the middle of the river and game traveled the trail all the time going from Catka to goat mt. I decided to go down and fish one day. Gramps thought I was crazy walking that far to fish but off I went. About have way down all the switchbacks I started to hear all kinds of grunting and groaning. Now this was the middle of nowhere -no people but it was not a noise I was used to. I kept slowly and quietly walking down the trail. About a 1/4 mile down it was really loud- the brush and timber was thick but I knew I had to be very close. I caught something out of the corner of my eye. About 20 yds straight downhill and level with me-in a tree was a small black bear up in the tree 50'+-. He was holding on with one paw and swatting bees and digging at the nest in and old woodpecker hole. Now he was not getting very far in the digging process but he was franticly swatting at the cloud of bees. Kinda reminded me of watching cartoons. Now I watched quietly for about 5 minutes- he was getting nailed by lots of bees and not digging at all now- losing the battle and paying a very high price for honey he had not gotten yet. Decibel level of grunts had risen a bunch. At this moment he made his last mistake in his bee quest- he forgot where he was and started to use both paws to swat bees- it was like wiley coyote for a moment-suspended -by the time he realized his grave error in judgment it was too late-he reached out in a last ditch effort but could not reach the tree. Again it seemed liked slow motion falling to the ground squealing like a pig. I could not see him hit the ground but he hit with a thud and grunt and he took off running down the hill. I caught a lot of nice fish that day and laughed all day at memory of the bear. Gramps was right though- darn that was a long way to pack fish up hill in the hot summer sun.


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## jimmyjames (Apr 7, 2013)

I once got into a scraper that hadn't ran in years, we were trying to get it started to move it, after getting in and out of it for hours trying g to start it I jumped in slammed the door and fired it up, the second that old Detroit fired up bees ravaged me..... I tried to get out but the door was stuck closed, I ended up escaping g through the window and cutting my head on the fall to the ground, needless to say I had about 200 stings on my face and hands, we were picking out stingers for days..... it was the worst 10 seconds of my life.........


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## brown down (Apr 7, 2013)

i have a 5' cube styrofoam block i shoot arrows into. well over the years and thousands of arrows, it wore big holes into it. a couple of years back, i got the bow back out to start practicing and shot 8-10 arrows into the block.. went to retrieve the arrows and well kinda sent them threw a giant yellow jackets nest inside the block. i didn't get one arrow pulled and got hammered the whole way to the garage which is about 45 yards. there were hundreds of bees. the swarm was insane. went threw 3 cans of spray to get them suckers!

when i was a kid i remember my father went out to rototill to put some asparagus in, he said the tiller dropped deep into the ground, well he hit an underground nest of yellow jackets. and he was wearing shorts, not a pretty seen to say the least. hate those bees, they are aggressive little bastards!


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## Patrude (Apr 7, 2013)

Mike1950 said:


> Read Molaki's burl thread got me thinking about bee's. If you have worked or spent much time in the woods/outdoors you have had an experience with bees. Usually end result was not very funny.
> Probably was 1964 -gramps had a sale right above the Kootenai river a couple miles from the Mont. border. His sale was about 2 miles from the river, there was a very old overgrown logging road going to the river. It was kind of a special spot because there was and island in the middle of the river and game traveled the trail all the time going from Catka to goat mt. I decided to go down and fish one day. Gramps thought I was crazy walking that far to fish but off I went. About have way down all the switchbacks I started to hear all kinds of grunting and groaning. Now this was the middle of nowhere -no people but it was not a noise I was used to. I kept slowly and quietly walking down the trail. About a 1/4 mile down it was really loud- the brush and timber was thick but I knew I had to be very close. I caught something out of the corner of my eye. About 20 yds straight downhill and level with me-in a tree was a small black bear up in the tree 50'+-. He was holding on with one paw and swatting bees and digging at the nest in and old woodpecker hole. Now he was not getting very far in the digging process but he was franticly swatting at the cloud of bees. Kinda reminded me of watching cartoons. Now I watched quietly for about 5 minutes- he was getting nailed by lots of bees and not digging at all now- losing the battle and paying a very high price for honey he had not gotten yet. Decibel level of grunts had risen a bunch. At this moment he made his last mistake in his bee quest- he forgot where he was and started to use both paws to swat bees- it was like wiley coyote for a moment-suspended -by the time he realized his grave error in judgment it was too late-he reached out in a last ditch effort but could not reach the tree. Again it seemed liked slow motion falling to the ground squealing like a pig. I could not see him hit the ground but he hit with a thud and grunt and he took off running down the hill. I caught a lot of nice fish that day and laughed all day at memory of the bear. Gramps was right though- darn that was a long way to pack fish up hill in the hot summer sun.



 early 80''s, and I was out cutting high grass that hadn't been cut. I was working on extending our lawn area. We had a good sized above ground pool and I was on the back side of it with the mower. Well, the weather being nice and warm I had sneakers and no socks. Pushing the mower I felt something burning my right ankle. Couldn't figure out what the heck it was. :i_dunno: I looked down and there I saw a band of yellow bees latching onto my leg.  Not only did I mow over their ground nest, but I stepped right in it . :dash2::dash2: Those bees were P O! My Sweetie was on the deck of the pool when I ran up the slope and hurtled over, sneakers and clothes still on into the pool with the mower still running. The look on her face said it all, there he goes again, krazy antics! Well the pool got me away from the bees and got me a bit of relief too. My leg swelled up and I ended up heading to the local hospital for treatment. To this day I always wear boots and socks to do my yard work :teethlaugh: Oh ya, I always keep a up to date bee sting kit handy too


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## LoneStar (Apr 7, 2013)

I don't think its too funny, but I still remember the day I "discovered" that wasps sting. 
I don't know, but I might have been 4 years old. Dad was out in the neighbors pasture chewing the fat and I got tired of listening to grown folks talk so I headed back to the station wagon to wait on him. While I was sitting there minding my own business this real neat looking fly came buzzing past.... Took me a good 2 minutes of jumping over seats chasing him all over the station wagon until I finally got him cornered in the back window and grabbed him with both hands. I don't think it hurt near as much as it surprised and confused the heck out of me, but I came shooting out the car like a bolt of lightning screaming all the way across the field. Dad pulled half a chew of tobacco out of his cheek and pinched it on the sting to numb it, and I learned a important lesson about mother nature.


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## HomeBody (Apr 8, 2013)

A buddy and I rented a dumpy house right after high school. Doing fall yard cleanup and started to move a small roll of carpet laying behind the house. Moved it an inch and was hammered by a swarm of yellow jackets nesting in the carpet. I retreated with a dozen stings and swore revenge. I waited until February, the coldest day of the year with snow on the ground, temps well below freezing and a stiff wind. I bundled up and went out and unrolled the carpet. Hundreds of yellowjackets rolled out of the carpet. They were picked up by the wind and hurled across the snow covered yard and gone. Revenge was mine!
Gary


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## rdnkmedic (Apr 8, 2013)

I was bush hogging along a creek in one of our patures when I cut into a yellow jacket nest. They stung me and the tractor mercilessly. The problem was I had to get the tractor shut down before I could get away from them. Left the tractor for a day or so then went back armed with a can of wasp killer. Snuck up and emptied the can into the hole. Now I kill everything with a stinger. No mercy. Had about 40-50 stings. Unbelievable pain and swelling that lasted about 3 days. I HATE A YELLOW JACKET!!!


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## healeydays (Apr 8, 2013)

Patrude said:


> early 80''s, and I was out cutting high grass that hadn't been cut. I was working on extending our lawn area. We had a good sized above ground pool and I was on the back side of it with the mower. Well, the weather being nice and warm I had sneakers and no socks. Pushing the mower I felt something burning my right ankle. Couldn't figure out what the heck it was. :i_dunno: I looked down and there I saw a band of yellow bees latching onto my leg.  Not only did I mow over their ground nest, but I stepped right in it . :dash2::dash2: Those bees were P O! My Sweetie was on the deck of the pool when I ran up the slope and hurtled over, sneakers and clothes still on into the pool with the mower still running. The look on her face said it all, there he goes again, krazy antics! Well the pool got me away from the bees and got me a bit of relief too. My leg swelled up and I ended up heading to the local hospital for treatment. To this day I always wear boots and socks to do my yard work :teethlaugh: Oh ya, I always keep a up to date bee sting kit handy too



Same thing basically for me. Out mowing the lawn one day with the push mower and all of a sudden I'm getting stung all over the place by yellow jackets. I had run right over their nest in the ground. I wasn't so lucky to have a pool, but dove into my parked car and sat in there for about 10 minutes killing the suckers that got in with me.

Well I left that mower still going in the middle of the yard and the bees were pissed. I ended up going into the garage and grabbing a rope to lasso the lawnmower and get it away from the bees. Now remember guys, I'm from NH and we don't have alot of opportunities to rope anything so I was at it for awhile and finally got it away from them and shut it off.

The next day, I went out and this was before the ban, and bought a couple cans of the freon wasp killer and froze those suckers frozen...


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## Kevin (Apr 8, 2013)

I can relate to all of this. I used to be a WASP. I am now a WAS since my spiritual beliefs have no label.


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## HomeBody (Apr 9, 2013)

When doing battle with nests of bees, it's best to do it at night if at all possible. Gary


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## brown down (Apr 9, 2013)

HomeBody said:


> When doing battle with nests of bees, it's best to do it at night if at all possible. Gary



you got that right! when they are all tucked in for bed safe and sound or at least they think they are


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